Am I Destined for the Hellfire Because I Hit My Father Making Him Bleed?
Question
I am a 20-year-old student living with my mom and dad. I still rely on my dad for everything. But my dad is a short-tempered person. Today he got angry for no reason and started misbehaving with me and my mom. Eventually, my mom blamed me that I rely on him. Afterwards, we were sitting in my room when suddenly my father started breaking things in the house and saying vulgar words to my mom. I couldn’t control my anger and I hit my father causing him to bleed. I know I have committed a grave sin and I am totally remorseful for that. But after my incident both my parents said they would never forgive me. I know my mistake but if they don’t forgive me will I not go to Janna?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I deeply empathize with the sad state of affairs with your family and I pray that you find a way to transform yourself and help spark change in your whole family.
Goodness to parents
Allah Most High said in the Quran, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Quran, 17:23]
The Prophet said: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger.” [Tirmidhi]
And narrated Anas bin Malik related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said about the major sins: “Shirk with Allah, disobeying the parents, taking the life, and false testimony.” [Tirmidhi]
This is the tremendous state of parents in Islam and you must understand that you have a duty to be good to them for the rest of your life, through thick and thin, when times are easy or hard, when you want to and when you don’t want to, and that you will be rewarded for upholding these important morals. What you did to your father is an indication to me, of the signs of the end of times.
Despair
That being said, Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “Indeed, Allah does not forgive associating others with Him in worship but forgives anything else of whoever He wills. And whoever associates others with Allah has indeed committed a grave sin.” [Quran, 4:48]
Hitting your father in this way does not guarantee that you are going to Hell. Rather it is a sign for yourself to learn anger management, acquire patience, identify your triggers, and transform your character into a noble one, as our Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught us.
What to do
Take advantage of every moment that you are alive to sincerely repent, and intend never to repeat this behaviour. Pray on time, read the Quran daily, go to the mosque more often, and acquire Islamic knowledge. Take free courses with us. Make du`a for your parents, and gain independence from your father as fast as you can. Do them a good turn every day, so their hearts soften toward you. Get them a coffee, make them tea, buy them a gift, flowers, chocolate, whatever they like. Pray with them, take them out, drive them around, and run errands for them.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]
[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years, studying aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
