Should One Think About Placing Conditions Before Marriage?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
What if a girl has said that whenever I ask my future husband to accept any condition not related to divorce, my other conditional divorces should be included in them even if I do not mean them, or even if I say I don’t mean them, then it must include.
Is there any way I can take those conditions back? I am unmarried. I don’t even mean those conditions now, but what about what I said earlier that even if I take them back (don’t mean them or say no), they must be included? For example, if one asks the husband for some other conditions not related to conditional divorce, would other conditions be included, or should one just not care about them?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. It seems you are anxious about marriage. One can, however, don’t over worry.
It’s best not to dwell on potential issues and worries about your future. Instead, trust that when the time comes, everything will work out fine. To prepare for marriage, seek guidance from Allah Most High, consult your parents, perform Istikhara, and educate yourself through a marriage course and extensive reading. Once you are engaged, encourage your fiancé to do the same so that you both can refer to the course and readings and follow the same marriage guidance path. In sha Allah, you will be well-prepared for a successful marriage.
Work on yourself spiritually, emotionally, etc., and build a relationship with Allah Most High. Try to be one whom the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) envisaged a woman to be. Continue to pray to Allah Most High that you are chosen due to it.
Propose to the Religious Girl for Marriage
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “A woman is married for four reasons: her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Thus, give precedence to one with religion.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below—especially The Elements of Meaningful Marriage Contracts. You will receive guidance and direction, in sha’ Allah.
Related:
- The Elements of Meaningful Marriage Contracts
- Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
- Being Balanced – Emotional and Mental Health – Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
- Purification of the Heart by Hamza Yusuf
- Istikhara, The Prayer of Seeking Guidance: The Ultimate Guide – A Reader
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (Salat al-Haja)?
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on 40 Hadiths on Successful Marriage: Key Teachings of the Prophet on Beautiful, Loving, Caring Married Life and Marriage in Islam
I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
