Should I Tell My Husband about My Sexual Chatting Online?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I’m a married Muslim woman. I have sexually chatted online with two random men. It happened twice. I deeply regret what I have done, and I can’t believe that I have done this. I feel so guilty I can’t sleep properly. I think about it daily. I cry during the day often. I’m so ashamed. I have fully repented and have asked Allah to forgive me for this severe sin.
Do I have to tell my husband about this situation? I love him so much and do not want to destroy my marriage. If he ever asks me about it somehow in the future, am I allowed to lie to conceal this sin?
Answer
May Allah accept your sincere repentance and give you the strength to never return to it again.
Conceal
It is obligatory for Muslims to conceal their sins, as Allah has done them a favor by covering them. Only under certain circumstances may they be exposed, and your situation is not one of them. In the future, if it comes up, it is permissible to lie to cover it up, but it’s better to use a half-truth. See more details in the links below.
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “All my community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under cover of Allah, and they rent asunder Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Please see the many details here:
Is It Permissible to Lie In Order to Conceal Past Sins?
Disclosing Past Sins
How Should I Deal with My Husband Inquiring about My Past Sins?
Informing a Prospective Spouse About Past Non-Marital Relationships
Will My Future Husband Find Out About My Virginity?
Should I Tell My Spouse About My Relationships Before I Got Married?
Seeking Forgiveness for Premarital Relationship and Informing One’s Spouse
My Friend Committed Fornication in the Past, and Wants to Tell Her Prospective Husband About It. Is This a Good Idea?
Are There Valid Reasons to Reveal Sins?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
