Should I Tell My Ex-boyfriend to Repent from Our Zina?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I recently ended a pre-marital relationship in which I committed Zina. I repented, but Shaytan keeps telling me that because we both committed Zina, it is my responsibility to tell him that he should also repent. I have this guilt that I should have told him to repent before ending the relationship. Will I be held accountable for not telling him?

Answer

I commend you for leaving your sinful past and turning to Allah Most High in true repentance. Verily Allah’s forgiveness can be even more significant than your sins, so do not despair.

Check this:
Sincere Repentance from Zina

As for your ex-boyfriend, if he is a big boy enough to want to sleep with you, he is a big boy enough to know that he has to repent on his own. You are not responsible for telling him anything except that “It’s over.” I am sure that he knows that fornication is not permissible, and I am sure that he knows whom he committed this crime against (Allah, of course). If you happen to see or speak to him, you can mention how repentance has changed your life.

Rest assured that you are only responsible for your actions and your tawba. Allah, Most High, says, “No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another. And if a sin-burdened soul cries for help with its burden, none of it will be carried—even by a close relative. You ˹O Prophet˺ can only warn those who stand in awe of their Lord without seeing Him and establish prayer. Whoever purifies themselves, they only do so for their own good. And to Allah is the final return.” [Quran, 35:18]

Leave this burdensome thought, focus on your newly-found determination, and never return to where you were. Turn to Allah Most High, perform your duties to Him, and ask Him to guide you to a better and more fulfilling life. He is always there to answer your prayers.

Check this:
Do Unlawful Relationships Deprive One of Faith?

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.