Is It Permissible to Promise Marriage to a Girl I Love as a Young Muslim?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am a young Muslim who started to like a girl when we started talking. As we moved forward, I started loving her for her religious commitment and for Allah. She loves me too. Although we don’t talk anymore due to it being not permissible as non-mahram. Could you tell me if my love is halal and if it is okay to have a promise of marriage between us when we reach a certain age?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your desire for a halal relationship and for trying to stay within the limits of gender interaction according to Islam.
A promise
Because of the limits that Allah has placed on boys and girls in terms of interacting with each other, they should not promise marriage to one another. Rather, once they feel serious about someone, they should pull away from getting too close and speak to their parents about a proposal. They should not reach a point of being informal or endearing to one another.
However, since the two of you are in love, and wish to follow Islam correctly, you should propose to her as soon as possible. Pray Istikhara, discuss the matter with your parents, make an educational and career plan and move forward with good intentions. The Messenger of Allah said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.” [Ibn Maja]
Please see these links as well:
Is It Sinful to Break the Promise to Marry Someone? (Shafi’i)
If I Swore an Oath to Marry Someone, Do I Have to Do It Even after Repenting?
Is Withdrawing from an Accepted Proposal Equivalent to Breaking a Promise?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
