How Should a Sexual Predator Seek Forgiveness from His Victims?
Question
If a person sexually abused younger people and the people who were sexually abused do not know that they were sexually abused, how should the person who sexually abused younger people repent?
Please advise me how the abuser should ask them for forgiveness and how to ask for forgiveness. Please also take into consideration that the abuser did it in the form of dry humping.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for ceasing this behaviour and for turning to Him wholeheartedly in true repentance.
Forgiveness
It is not necessary that you seek forgiveness from your victims. Informing them would cause much pain and suffering, and you may not even procure their forgiveness. Although seeking forgiveness is the fourth condition to repentance, it can be omitted if one fears greater harm, which I believe is the case. You should repent to Allah, fully and sincerely, and have hope in His limitless mercy.
What You Can Do
Instead, give charity regularly for it purifies the soul and prevents calamities. Also, pray for the victims in question, and give charity on their behalf or donate the reward of reading the Quran for them. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “The believer’s shade on the day of resurrection will be his charity.” [Ahmad] Also, perform many good deeds, as the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]
Help
I also encourage you to seek professional help for this kind of behaviour, as recidivism rates are high. You must take active measures to make sure this doesn’t happen again and completely transform yourself, leaving your past behind. Use this website for Muslims as a safe place for sexual addiction: Purify Your Gaze
Mercy
Please keep these words in mind from the Quran. Allah Most High says, “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
And he said, may Allah bless him and give him peace, “Allah, the Exalted, has said: ’O son of Adam, I forgive you as long as you pray to Me and hope for My forgiveness, whatever sins you have committed. O son of Adam, I do not care if your sins reach the height of heaven, then you ask for my forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you come to Me with an earth load of sins, and meet Me associating nothing to Me, I would match it with an earth load of forgiveness.’” [Tirmidhi]
Please see the conditions of repentance here:
What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba? (Transcript) – Ustadh Abdullah Misra
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
