How Does a Converted Girl Go About Marriage?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I have a friend who has recently reverted to Islam. Her whole family is Christian. As it’s not allowed in Islam to find our spouse ourselves, how should she marry if she has none who could look for a spouse for her? And if she gets a spouse, should she consult her family? Her family has disowned her. They will not agree with her marrying a Muslim man. How should she deal with all these problems??
Answer
Masha Allah, your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you looking out for her and showing concern for her welfare. As for seeking a spouse oneself, it is possible in Islam. If one has met a man or has gotten to know someone through permissible means, she might consider him for marriage. She could talk to an elder in the community, a friend’s dad, or an imam to help her.
Please see this related article:
Meeting A Potential Spouse Through School or Work?
A Muslim convert girl cannot have her non-Muslim father as a guardian (wali) during her marriage contract, nor does she need his permission. She can appoint any upright Muslim man as her wali and carry on with her marriage. It is wise for her to tell her parents and introduce the young man to him out of respect for them, not for their approval. Involving her parents in the process would still be praiseworthy.
Please convey the following du’as for your friend and recite them often, for “Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” [Quran, 13:28]
Check these links also:
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long
Difficulty In Finding A Spouse And Losing Hope
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
