How Can I Take Back the Mean Things I Said about My Mom?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
When I would get mad at my mom, I would say awful things like “I hope she dies” or “When will she die” but I don’t know if this counts as dua. I think I might have also said a dua at some point, but I’m unsure. I regret these awful things I said. I was just mad, and I take them back. But how?
My mom has been having a hard time, and I’m so sad because if she does die, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I’m trying my best not to cry when I’m around her because she will ask me what’s wrong. I regret these awful things; I don’t know what to do.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincere regret, and may He give you and your mother a long and healthy life that pleases Allah.
Repentance
The best thing you can do is repent for your words by simply asking Allah to forgive you for saying that, especially before fajr time comes in. The Prophet (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When half of the night or two-thirds of it is over, Allah (the Blessed and the Exalted) descends to the lowest heaven and says, ‘Is there any beggar so that he be given? Is there any supplicator so that he be answered? Is there any beggar of forgiveness so that he be forgiven? (And Allah continues saying it) until it is daybreak.’” [Muslim]
Dua
The next best thing you can do is make dua for her, don’t worry about what you said because Allah Most High is the only one who can affect His servants by His decree, and we don’t know what is in her destiny. Focus on the positive, don’t cry, and know that you should use your time now to pray for her, serve her, help her, and be patient with her.
The best dua you can say for your parents is given to us by Allah Most High in the Quran, “And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, ‘My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young.’” [Quran, 17:24]
”وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا.“
(The dua starts from the word Rabb)
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
