How Can I Inspire My Husband to Pray and Read Quran? – Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My husband sees me praying but doesn’t bother to join me or pray himself. He will only pray when I ask him, and it’s sad for me because it seems he prays only when I ask. He has bad habits and I’ve told him so many times. I constantly remind him to eat with the right hand. He doesn’t seem to care about sunnas or prayers at all.
Many other things are bad in our marriage, so I don’t feel like being close to him anymore. We started this marriage from a haram relationship. I want to divorce. I’ve cried so much. He’s from a Pakistani family, and I’m reverted, but I know more about Islam than him. When I teach him Quran so he can improve, “it’s boring,” he says.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being a good wife and for having patience with your husband. I am certain that if you continue, he will eventually come around.
Wisdom
Allah Most High has told us how to invite people to Islam, but this can be applied to calling Muslims back to practicing Islam. Allah says, “Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching, and reason with them in ways that are best…” [Quran, 16:125]
I encourage you to keep praying, keep making dua, especially at auspicious times and continue to invite him to pray. It is a huge accomplishment that he agrees to pray and doesn’t refuse. It won’t be easy, but with time, you will find a change, even if it takes a long time. Make sure that you teach your children from the beginning to pray and learn Quran. Watching them will also inspire him.
Istikhara
As for your marital problems, I recommend that you take every step to help this marriage flourish. It will take a mountain of effort, but you should think proactively before you think of ending this marriage. Take the courses below, read the books, with your husband if possible and use the tips in the answers. If you have taken all the means but still find the marriage sucking the life out of you, pray istikhara and make your decision while consulting friends and family.
Course Suggestions:
Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage
Making Love Last: Prophetic Principles for a Successful Marriage
Answer Suggestions:
Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja)
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
My Husband Doesn’t Pray: How Do I Advise Him?
My Husband Mistreats Me and He Doesn’t Pray
How to Deal with My Non-Practicing Revert Husband?
My Husband Is Lazy About His Prayers. How Do I Convince Him?
Book Suggestions:
Chapman, G: Five Love Languages Revised Edition
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage
Article Suggestions:
What Makes A Marriage Work – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
