How Can a Girl in University Ready Herself for Marriage?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
If the girl is unsure about the right time to get married but feels like she’s met the right guy who has approached her family. What are your opinions regarding this in the Islamic Shari‘a? How does she deal with the fear of getting married while still studying?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for progressing on your spiritual and worldly goals, and may He make it easy for you to accomplish both.
Choice of Spouse
As for choosing who to pursue, I advise you to pray istikhara on the matter and to follow the advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari; Muslim]
Ask yourself if you are choosing him because he is good for your religion and will make an excellent father, role model, and teacher for your children or whether it is for another reason.
Marrying Young
Keep in mind this advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) until you do marry, “Marriage is part of my sunna, and whoever does not follow my sunna has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast, for it will diminish his desire.” [Ibn Majah]
Students
Getting married while being a student is difficult but possible. I highly encourage you to ask the suitor in question if he will support you during your studies. He will have to forgo many comforts of having a wife who stays at home, and he will have to help you much more in case you get pregnant while in school. Also, how does he feel about your career? You must know the answer to all of these before you jump in.
I recommend that you marry during the last years of your study, perhaps, the final year or the one before, so that you can at least develop good study habits in the first few years. Otherwise, your husband is supposed to be your number one priority, and that might be hard from the get-go. Consult others around you and make dua that Allah guides you to what is best.
Related:
- Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage. [Course]
- A Guide to Marriage: SeekersGuidance Reader
- Etiquette of Marriage: A Comprehensive SeekersGuidance Reader
- How Do I Convince My Mother to Let Me Marry While I Am Studying?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
