Should I Stop Advising My Husband Who Doesn’t Fear God?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Should I stay silent about my husband’s haram actions to avoid arguments or continue advising him despite the risk of damaging our marriage?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and pain at seeing your husband far away from Islam. You should make dua for his transformation and stop advising him. As long as you actively increase your religious knowledge and practice, a good change might happen in sha’ Allah.
Commanding the Good
Commanding the good and forbidding evil in Islam are obligatory under certain conditions only. The situation you describe doesn’t obligate you to keep advising him; rather, it will cause resentment and possibly irreparable damage to your marriage. I also discourage you from using broad statements saying that your husband doesn’t fear God, as Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “Surely He knows best what is ˹hidden˺ in the heart.” [Quran, 11:5]
Please see more details here about commanding the good:
What Are the Criteria for Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil?
What is the right approach to commanding the good?
Can You Clarify the Criteria for Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil?
Du`a
Please make this dua from the Quran daily:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]
Please see more details on how to deal with your problem here:
My Husband Doesn’t Pray: How Do I Advise Him?
How to Deal With a Husband Who Doesn’t Practice?
How Should I Advise My Husband To Pray?
Is My Irreligious Husband Halal For Me?
Was It Wrong To Leave My Husband Because He Doesn’t Practice Islam?
My Husband Does Not Practice. What Do I Do?
How Do I Manage the Relationship with My Less Practicing Husband?
How Do I Manage a Husband Who Is Lacking in Everything?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
