Is It True That My Parents Get My Sins If I Don’t Marry?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Is it true that parents will receive their child’s sins if the child does not marry in Islam? My father insists on me marrying despite my asexuality, claiming it’s religiously obligatory. How can I make him understand my lack of attraction and the implications of marrying against my nature?

Answer

Thank you for your question. If you don’t marry, your father will not receive your sins. What he told you is false.

Istikhara

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Marriage is part of my sunna, and whoever does not follow my sunna has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast, for it will diminish his desire.” [Ibn Maja]

I don’t know what the best scenario is for you, but I urge you to pray istikhara and perhaps speak to a culturally sensitive therapist about it. Marriage brings about the immense joy of having children and is a prophetic sunna for many good reasons. It is not obligatory, but I wouldn’t want you to miss out on marriage if your condition is not exactly what you think it is.

Du`a

Please make this dua from the Quran daily:

  رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.