How to Deal with My Parents Who Abuse Me on the Name of Islam?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Recently I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents in the name of Islam. My mother likes doing this in the name of Islam (though she was never abused as a child), and she curses me often. I have to fight them back to save myself. I can’t live with them, particularly with my father, who tries to keep me from revealing the truth against him.

My life is in danger too. My younger brother also physically tortured me with his mother, and my mother told me he had the right to beat me. I can no longer stay with these three monsters who have ruined my life. I want to go far away and never want to see them again. I wish to support myself. I don’t think Islam has any solution, so I don’t want to remain a Muslim.

Answer

I am very sorry that you are in this extremely painful situation. I empathize with your pain and pray that this ends quickly for you.

First, I want to tell you that Islam has absolutely nothing to do with this behavior. They can try to use Islam against you, but this behavior would disgust the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). Abuse of any kind towards any person, even animals, is not tolerable in our religion. Please take a moment to separate acts of ignorance from Islam, the way of truth.

I am concerned about your safety, so please do your best to move in with a relative, or if things get out of hand, call the police. Speaking to a friend, elder, or scholar in the community to mediate between you and your parents can help a lot as well. Make sure you spend your free time in some beneficial hobby or skill you enjoy. This can provide a nice escape from the trauma.

Ask Allah to help you through this, He is listening and sees your pain at all times, and He promises to help. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” [Tirmidhi] Use this powerful tool.

Please similar issues in the link for more ideas on how to deal with this.
My Parents Emotionally and Physically Abuse Me. Can You Help Me?
How Do I Deal With an Abusive Father?

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.