Does One Have a Responsibility to Keep and Provide for a Brother in Law Who Can Work?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I am forced to keep my wife’s brother in my house. He is not married, and his parents have passed away. His other brothers won’t keep him because he is a burden. He does not want to work; at some time, he was into drugs and sent to rehab. It has been three years since he was treated, yet he won’t take any responsibility, and now he has to live with us until his lands are sold and he can have money to spend. My brother-in-law is a financial burden on me; he is not responsible for what to do while living in someone else’s house. He has increased my kitchen and other expenses. If I put my foot down and decide not to keep him, my wife will leave me and file for a divorce. What does Islam say in this regard?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and seeking guidance. Allah Most High reward you for your patience and for providing accommodation and expenses for your brother-in-law.
I understand your concern. You have to look at the pros and cons. If you tell him to move out, you might still have to contribute as he is not working or might fall into drug use again, and, as you mentioned, your wife intends to leave you. This is a difficult situation, and it can only be resolved by the three of you sitting down. You have to all make a plan going forward. He has to start working and contributing to the family home.
You will be rewarded for keeping him and being patient, and maybe Allah Most High is giving you sustenance through him.
You Are Only Supported if You Help the Weak
Abu Darda (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Seek out the vulnerable among you. Verily, you are only given provision and support due to your support of the weak.” [Tirmidhi]
Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported that there were two brothers in the time of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), one of whom would attend the lessons of the Prophet, and the other would engage in business. The businessman complained to the Prophet about his brother, and the Prophet said, “Perhaps you are granted provision because of him.” [Tirmidhi]
Sit down with everyone, make a plan from now on, and come to an amicable solution where everyone knows his responsibility and does not burden others. You are doing your best so far to run the family. Your wife and brother-in-law must acknowledge your huge favor for keeping and providing for him. Set out a work plan to contribute to the family and make a plan to move out, if possible, in the future slowly.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
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Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
