How To Control Anger?
Answered by Ahmad al-Ahmad
Question
What should I do when I get angry?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.
The Nature and Origin of Anger
Anger has a fiery nature burning within oneself, manifested by characteristics closest to fire in its heat, color, effect, and consequences. It has expressions stemming from this nature, which can be inferred, such as reddening of the eyes and swelling of the cheeks.
Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, anger is a burning coal in the heart of the son of Adam. Do you not see his reddened eyes, his swollen cheeks? Whoever feels anything of that, let him lie down on the ground.” [Ahmad, Tirmidhi]
Anger stems from Satan, as Satan is the companion of humans, closely attached to them, perhaps flowing within them like blood.
Ali bin Husayn reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) was approached by Safiyyah bint Huyay. When she left, he walked with her. Two men from the Ansar passed by, and he called them and said, “She is only Safiyya,” to which they said, “SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah).” The Prophet said, “Indeed, Satan flows through the son of Adam as blood flows” [Bukhari]
Satan was created from fire, thus possessing a fiery nature. He inflames anger within humans. Allah (Most High) said about the origin of Satan’s creation,
“And created jinn from a (smokeless) flame of fire.” [Quran, 55:15]
Therefore, Satan’s being of fire and his comparison to humans, following them, all of this demonstrates the relationship of Satan with those internal hidden processes that incite anger.
‘Urwa Ibn Muhammad reported from his father that his grandfather Atiyya had said, “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
‘Anger is from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is only extinguished with water, so when one of you becomes angry, let him perform ablution.’” [Ahmad; Abu Dawud]
Organic changes arise from anger, including heat and muscle contraction, hormonal secretions, and readiness for combat and confrontation. It has an internal latent heat that one feels when anger intensifies, just as the hungry or thirsty feel their hunger or thirst.
In its severe state, anger fills the soul and takes control of it, seizing its core and extremities, covering the mind, blinding sight, and weakening thinking.
And it should be known that there is commendable anger and there is blameworthy anger.
Commendable Anger
It is that which is for Allah (Most High) and controlled by the laws of Shari‘a. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would not get angry unless the sanctities of Allah were violated. When they were violated, nothing could stand in the way of his anger. From his guidance in this regard, as reported, ‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) said:
“The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) entered upon me, and in the house was a curtain with images on it. His face changed color, then he tore down the curtain and said, ‘The people who make these images will be punished most severely on the Day of Resurrection.’” [Bukhari; Muslim]
When the Imam who prolonged the prayer for people was complained about, such that some of them would leave the prayer, he became angry, his anger intensified, and he advised the people and ordered them to lighten the prayer.
Jabir Ibn ‘Abdullah said:
“Mu‘adh bin Jabal would pray with the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), then return to his people and lead them in prayer. One night, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) delayed the ‘Isha prayer, then Mu‘adh prayed with him and returned to us to lead us. He started with Sura Baqara, and when a man from the people saw that, he stepped aside and prayed alone, then left. We said to him, ‘What’s wrong with you, did you become a hypocrite?’ He said, ‘I did not become a hypocrite, but I will surely inform the Prophet.’ He went to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Mu‘adh prays with you, then returns to lead us, and you delayed ‘Isha prayer last night, then he came back to us to lead us, and he started with Sura Baqara. When I saw that, I stepped aside and prayed alone. We are people who work with our hands.’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
‘Are you causing fitna, O Mu‘adh? Are you causing fitna, O Mu‘adh? Read such and such suras.’ ‘Amr said, ‘And he commanded him to read short suras,’ I don’t remember them, Sufyan said, ‘We said to ‘Amr Ibn Dinar: Abu Zubair told them that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to him, “Read by Sura Tariq, Buruj, Shams, or Layl,” ‘Amr said, ‘something like this.’” [Ibn Hibban; Bayhaqi, al-Sunan al-Kubra; Ahmad]
When he saw phlegm in the direction of the mosque’s qibla, he became irritated and scratched it off. As reported by Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him), he said: “While the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) was praying, he saw phlegm in the direction of the mosque’s qibla, so he scratched it off with his hand, became irritated, then said, ‘When one of you is praying, Allah is in front of him, so he should not spit in front of him during the prayer.’” [Bukhari]
When Usama Ibn Zaid spoke to him regarding the Makhzumi woman who stole, asking for her not to have her hand cut off, he (Allah bless him and give him peace) became very angry, stood up to the people, and gave a speech. Let’s leave ‘Aisha to convey the story as it is.
‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Quraysh were deeply concerned about the woman from the Makhzum tribe who had stolen. They said, “Who will speak to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) about her?” They decided, “Who would dare to do so except Usama Ibn Zaid, the beloved of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)?” So, Usama spoke to him, and the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do you intercede to violate one of Allah’s limits?” Then he stood up and gave a speech, saying, “The people before you were destroyed because if a noble person among them stole, they would let him go, but if a weak person stole, they would apply the prescribed punishment on him. By Allah, if Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad, were to steal, I would cut off her hand.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
As for himself, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would not get angry for his sake; rather, he would forgive and overlook.
Anas bin Malik said,
“I served the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) for ten years. He never once said ‘Uff’ to me. If I did something, he never said, ‘Why did you do that?’ And if I didn’t do something, he never said, ‘Why didn’t you do that?’ And if someone from his family said something about me, he would say, ‘Leave him alone. If it had been decreed, it would have been done (meaning the Prophet justified his action or inaction with destiny.).’” [Ahmad]
‘Abdullah said, “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) distributed something, and a man said, ‘This distribution was not done seeking the pleasure of Allah.’ I went to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and told him secretly, and he became very angry. His face turned red, and I wished I had not told him. Then he said, ‘Moses was harmed more than this, and he was patient.’” [Muslim]
Look how he comforted himself and reassured himself with the patience of Moses (peace be upon him), and this is the way of the Messengers (peace be upon them)—they do not get angry except for the sake of Allah, which made it easy for them not to get angry for themselves.
Allah, the Exalted, praised those who do not get angry for themselves, saying,
“(They are) those who donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others. And Allah loves the good-doers.” [Quran, 3:134]
Allah made spending in prosperity and adversity one of the greatest acts of worship that results in restraining anger from the hearts and made restraining anger a precursor and reason for forgiveness, and made forgiveness a precursor to goodness and a reason for it, showing that refraining from anger is the essence of all good as mentioned before.
And He, the Most High, said,
“And when they are angry, they forgive.” [Quran 42:37]
Meaning if anger incites them, they control themselves and do not punish with word or deed. Sa‘di said in the tafsir of this verse,
“They adorn themselves with noble manners and virtues so that patience becomes their nature, and good conduct their disposition, so that when someone angers them with word or deed, they restrain that anger and do not execute it, rather they forgive and do not respond to bad with bad but with good and pardon beautifully, leading to many benefits arising from forgiveness and pardoning, as Allah says, ‘Good and evil cannot be equal. Respond (to evil) with what is best, then the one you are in a feud with will be like a close friend. But this cannot be attained except by those who are patient and who are truly fortunate.’” [Quran 41:34-35]
Blameworthy Anger
Blameworthy anger is anger for one’s self, tribalism, and zealotry, including anger for a religion that contradicts Islamic teachings. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) prohibited fighting out of tribalism or in defense of one’s tribe; Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Whoever fights under a blind banner, getting angry for partisanship, or calling to partisanship, or supporting partisanship, and then gets killed, his death is a death of ignorance.” [Muslim]
Moreover, the zealotry that opposes the truth and its people is prohibited and is mentioned in a negative context in the Quran; Allah (Most High) says,
“(Remember) when the disbelievers had filled their hearts with pride—the pride of (pre-Islamic) ignorance—then Allah sent down His serenity upon His Messenger and the believers, inspiring them to uphold the declaration of faith, for they were better entitled and more worthy of it. And Allah has (perfect) knowledge of all things.” [Quran 48:26]
A Muslim does not support the oppressors or fight against the people of truth out of tribalism or adherence to pre-Islamic customs and traditions. ‘Ata’ Ibn Abi Rabah said, “Nothing made the scholar cry like an anger; an anger that invalidated his fifty years of work,” indicating that unmeasured anger may contradict the texts of the Sharia and thus could invalidate one’s deeds.
Warning Against Anger
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man said to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Advise me,” He said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated (his request) several times, and he said, “Do not become angry.” [Bukhari]
From the advice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), it is clear that a Muslim must avoid the causes and triggers of anger because it is a dangerous enemy to Muslims when they follow the whims of the self that commands evil and its wicked forces. Some of the predecessors said,
“The servant is closest to the anger of Allah (Most High) when he becomes angry.” [Mawardi, Adab al-Dunya wa al-Din]
The Merit of Restraining Anger
“Restraining anger” means to struggle with it and not to show it, a trait that distinguishes the believers. Allah (Most High) says,
“(They are) those who donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others. And Allah loves the good-doers.” [Quran, 3:134]
Sahl Ibn Mu‘adh reported from his father that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Whoever restrains his anger while being able to act upon it, Allah will call him before the heads of creation on the Day of Resurrection so that he may choose any of the Hur al-‘Iyn he wishes.” [Abu Dawud]
This has an educational dimension encouraging Muslims to control their emotional reactions, not to respond to them, training the soul to overcome anger, and to refrain from acting upon it, desiring the reward and compensation prepared by Allah (Most High) for those who seek it.
Ibn ‘Umar said that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“No servant swallows a more pleasing sip to Allah than a sip of anger he swallows seeking the face of Allah (Most High).” [Ahmad]
Ibn ‘Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) went out and mentioned the story, and in it, he said,
“There is no sip more beloved to Allah than a sip of anger that a servant swallows for Allah. No servant swallows it for Allah except that Allah fills his interior with faith.” [Ibid.]
‘Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said:
“Whoever fears Allah does not satisfy his anger, and whoever fears Allah does not do what he wants.”
Regarding Allah’s statement, {So overlook with a gracious overlooking} [Quran, 15:85], Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with them both) said it means being content without rebuke and being patient in the face of anger.
The wife of Hudhayfa said, “I went to a servant girl of mine to strike her, but she said to me, ‘Fear Allah.’ She said, ‘I dropped what was in my hand, then I said: O girl, whoever fears Allah does not satisfy his anger.’” [Bayhaqi, Shu‘ab al-Iman]
From the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) in restraining anger and pardoning people is that after Wahshi Ibn Harb killed his uncle Hamza, he felt a deep sadness. Wahshi, after embracing Islam, came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), and when he saw me, he said, “Are you Wahshi?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “You killed Hamza?” I said, “What had happened had reached you.” He said, “Can you hide your face from me?” So, I left. [Bukhari]
Among his (Allah bless him and give him peace) attitudes in restraining anger and pardoning people, Jabir Ibn ‘Abdullah said,
“We were on an expedition with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) to Najd when he was overcome by the midday heat in a valley with dense trees (every tree had thorns). He descended under a tree for shade and hung his sword on it. The people dispersed among the trees for shade, and while we were in that state, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) called us, and we came to find a bedouin sitting before him. He said, ‘This man came to me while I was asleep, drew my sword, then I woke up while he was standing over my head, holding the unsheathed sword. He said, “Who will protect you from me?” I said, “Allah,” then he sat down,’ and the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) did not punish him.” [Ibid.]
And from the characteristics of the believers in restraining anger for the sake of Allah and seeking His pleasure, the servant should fear his Lord and strive to control himself when angry, accustoming himself to patience and not becoming a pawn in the hands of Satan, who entices him to exacerbate his anger to appear in his view as strong and formidable, boasting about such madness and taking pride in it. Listen to the words of the noble Prophet narrated by Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
In a narration, ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas‘ud said: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) asked,
“What do you consider the strong among you?” We said, “The one whom people cannot overcome.” He said, “Not so; but it is the one who controls himself in anger.” [Muslim]
Anger encompasses all evil, and avoiding it encompasses all good. Thus, the Prophet prohibited, as reported by Abu al-Darda, who said: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, guide me to an act that will lead me into Paradise.” He said, “Do not become angry, and you will have Paradise.” [Tabarani, al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat]
Ahnaf Ibn Qays said a cousin of mine told me that he said to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), “O Messenger of Allah, say a word to me and make it short that I may understand it.” He said, “Do not become angry.” He repeated that several times, each time, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do not become angry.” [Ahmad]
Scholars like Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Ishaq ibn Rahuya, ‘Abdullah Ibn al-Mubarak, and others have interpreted “good character” as refraining from anger.
Sahl Ibn Mu‘adh from his father reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Whoever restrains his anger while being able to enforce it, Allah will call him before the heads of creation on the Day of Resurrection so that he may choose any of the Hur al-‘Iyn he wishes.” [Abu Dawud]
This encourages Muslims to control their emotional reactions, not to respond to them, training the soul to conquer anger and to refrain from acting upon it, desiring the reward and compensation prepared by Allah Almighty for those who seek it.
Ibn Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) went out and mentioned the story, and in it, he said,
“There is no sip more beloved to Allah than a sip of anger that a servant swallows for Allah. No servant swallows it for Allah except that Allah fills his interior with faith.” [Ahmad]
The wife of Hudhayfa said, “I went to a servant girl of mine to strike her, but she said to me, ‘Fear Allah.’ She said, ‘I dropped what was in my hand, then I said: O girl, whoever fears Allah does not satisfy his anger.’” [Bayhaqi, Shu‘ab al-Iman]
Causes of Anger
There are many causes that incite anger in human beings. Among them are:
1. Self-Admiration (‘Ujb)
Self-admiration is condemned in the Quran and the Sunna of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace). Allah (Most High) criticized the Muslims for their self-admiration due to their numbers on the Day of Hunayn, saying,
“Indeed Allah has given you (believers) victory on many battlefields, even at the Battle of Hunayn when you took pride in your great numbers, but they proved of no advantage to you.” [Quran, 9:25]
And He condemned the Jews when they were impressed with their fortresses, saying,
“And they thought their strongholds would put them out of Allah’s reach. But (the decree of) Allah came upon them from where they never expected.” [Quran, 59:2]
Ibn Mas‘ud said: Destruction lies in two things: despair and self-admiration.
Mutarrif said, “I prefer to sleep regretful than to stay up impressed with myself.”
Some may be impressed by their strength and might, as Allah said about the people of ‘Ad,
“As for ‘Ad, they acted arrogantly throughout the land with no right, boasting, ‘Who is superior to us in might?’” [Quran, 41:15]
Yet Allah takes it away from them with the slightest affliction He sends upon them. Some may be impressed by their noble lineage, like the Hashemites, not realizing that they were honored for their obedience, knowledge, and praiseworthy traits, not for their lineage.
Some may be impressed by the number of their children, servants, followers, clan, and relatives, as the disbelievers said,
“Adding, ‘We are far superior (to the believers) in wealth and children, and we will never be punished.’” [Quran, 34:35]
This was oblivious to the fact that all of them were powerless servants, incapable of bringing harm or benefit to themselves.
Some are impressed by their wealth, as Allah informed us about the owner of the two gardens, who said,
“So he boasted to a (poor) companion of his, while conversing with him, ‘I am greater than you in wealth and superior in manpower.’” [Quran, 18:34], heedless of the responsibilities it brings and its immense trials.
Masruq (Allah have mercy on him) said, “It is sufficient ignorance for a person to be impressed by his own knowledge.”
When Mutarrif Ibn Abdullah saw Muhallab strutting in his silk garment, he said,
“O servant of Allah, this is a manner of walking that Allah and His Messenger hate.” Muhallab asked him, “Do you not recognize me?” Mutarrif replied, “Yes, I do. Your beginning was an insignificant sperm, and your end will be a rotten corpse, and you carry excrement in between.” So, Muhallab left and abandoned that manner of walking.
Ibn ‘Awf (Allah have mercy on him) said,
عجبت من معجب بصورته … وكان بالأمس نطفــــة مـــــذرة
وفي غد بعد حسن صورته … يصير في اللّحــــد جيفــة قذرة
وهو على تيهـــه ونخوتــــــه … ما بيــــن ثوبيـــــه يحمل العذرة
I wonder about one who is self-impressed by his image
Who was yesterday a despised sperm,
And tomorrow, after his good appearance,
He will become a rotten corpse in the grave,
And despite his vanity and arrogance,
Between his clothes, he carries excrement.
They said, “One who is impressed by his own opinion is misguided, one who is self-sufficient with his intellect errs, one who is arrogant towards people is humiliated, one who associates with the contemptible is degraded, and one who sits with the scholars is dignified.”
Self-admiration is a companion of arrogance and accompanies it; thus, self-admiration is among the triggers of anger and a motive for it.
2. Injustice
Among the causes that generate anger in a person and make him think of taking revenge with all his might is being subjected to the injustice of others. Injustice comes in various forms: from a ruler to the ruled, a merchant to his worker, and people to each other; it ignites excessive anger in the oppressed, driving them to seek vengeance against the oppressor to claim their rights. Being in a state of intense anger, he does not consider the consequences of his revenge on his oppressor.
Among what is reported in the prophetic tradition about prohibiting injustice, which is one of the greatest triggers of anger, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) advised Mu‘adh bin Jabal when he sent him to Yemen, saying, “And beware the supplication of the wronged, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Due to the gravity of injustice and its terrible consequences, Allah (Most High) informed us that He has forbidden injustice upon Himself and made it forbidden among people. Narrated by Abu Dharr, from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) in what he reported from Allah (Most High), He said, “O My servants, I have forbidden injustice for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another.” [Muslim]
3. Disputation
Disputation is to find fault in others’ statements to demonstrate a flaw in it with no other purpose than to belittle the speaker and to show one’s superiority over them.
A disputant seeks errors in others, whether in terms of expression, meaning, or subject matter, in order to criticize their statements, portraying them as exaggerated, mistaken, ignorant, or even deceitful, among other things.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) frequently warned against disputation due to its dangers, indicating that disputants are among the people of the fire. This is illustrated in a hadith narrated by Ka‘b Ibn Malik, who said:
“I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) saying: ‘Whoever seeks knowledge to compete with the scholars, or to argue with the fools, or to attract people’s attention, will be admitted to Hell.’” [Tirmidhi]
The least that a disputant is deprived of is what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) promised, as reported by Abu Umama, who said:
“The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: ‘I guarantee a house at the outskirts of Paradise for the one who avoids disputing even if he is in the right; and a house in the middle of Paradise for the one who avoids lying even in jest; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for the one who makes his character good.’” [Abu Dawud]
It is upon us to avoid disputation as much as we can; by having good assumptions about those who speak to us, unless there is falsehood in their speech. We should observe that if their falsehood does not relate to matters of religion and remaining silent about it does not expose us to sin, then silence in such cases is better than speaking. Otherwise, it becomes necessary to clarify the truth and the correct opinion with politeness, high manners, and concern for feelings of affection, and without inciting hatred or animosity.
4. Envy
Envy results from malice and malice results from anger. Envy has so many despicable branches that it is almost innumerable. Many hadiths in the prophetic tradition condemn envy, including what was narrated by Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“Do not hate each other, do not envy each other, do not turn away from each other, and be, O servants of Allah, brothers.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
And from Abu Hurayra, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“Dust in the path of Allah and the smoke of Hellfire will never coexist in the stomach of a believer, nor will faith and envy coexist in him.” [Ibn Hibban]
Damura Ibn Tha‘laba said: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“People will remain on the right path as long as they do not envy each other.” [Tabarani, al-Mu‘jam al-Kabir]
Envy is a strong rope of Satan; it enters through it into a person’s soul and whispers to him to bring him out from his tranquility and stability to the peak of anger and agitation, making the angry person behave towards the envied in a manner that has harmful effects on him and the surrounding community. Envy causes its bearer to seek revenge on creation, await their missteps, and rejoice in their pain; all because they succeeded where he failed and advanced where others were left behind. It’s disgraceful for envy to drive a person, to wish loss for every individual, simply because he did not gain. The envious person boils the cauldrons of malice within himself; because he sees the world and finds what he wishes for himself in the possession of others, filling his chest, making him distressed and restless, not realizing that a clean heart leads a servant to the gardens of eternity.
5. Joking
Joking is of two types: liked and disliked. The liked is what does not take its owner away from the truth and is on the side of playfulness, tenderness, and softening without causing harm.
Ibn Hibban said: “It is obligatory for the sensible to attract people’s hearts to him with joking and avoiding frowning.”
Sufyan Ibn Uyayna was asked: Is joking a blemish?! He said: “Rather, it’s a sunna, but the matter is in who knows how to do it well and places it in its proper places.”
Ibn ‘Abbas said: “Joking as long as it is good is permissible.”
Ibrahim al-Nakha‘i said: “No one jokes with you except one who loves you.”
Ibn Mubarak said: “Indeed, I am amazed at the reciters, every cheerful, laughing person. As for those who meet you cheerfully and greet you with a frown as if they are doing you a favor with their work, may Allah not increase their like among the reciters.”
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to joke, but he would only speak the truth.
Narrated by Ubaid bin Umair, he said: “I heard a man saying to Ibn ‘Umar: Did you not hear the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) say: ‘Indeed, I joke, but I only say what is true’? He said: Yes.” [Ibid.]
Among the instances of his (Allah bless him and give him peace) joking was when a man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) asking for a ride, and he said, “I will carry you on a baby camel.” The man asked, “O Messenger of Allah, what will I do with a baby camel?” The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) responded, “Do camels give birth to anything but baby camels?” [Bukhari, al-Abab al-Mufrad; Abu Dawud]
The Companions also engaged in permissible joking that did not incite anger. For instance, Bakr Ibn ‘Abdullah said,
“The Companions of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would playfully throw watermelons at each other, but when it was time for seriousness, they were real men.” [Ibid.]
From ‘Awf Ibn Malik al-Ashja‘i, he said, “I came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) during the Tabuk expedition while he was in a leather tent. I greeted him, and he responded, and then he said, ‘Enter.’ I asked, ‘All of me, O Messenger of Allah?’ He replied, ‘All of you, enter.’ So I entered.” [Abu Dawud]
However, it is important that such joking should not be excessive but in moderation, like salt in food. Disliked joking is that which is crude and leads to evil, falsehood, and sows the seeds of hostility. Khalid Ibn Safwan said, “It is said: Every matter has a seed, and the seed of hostility is joking.” [Ibn Abi al-Dunya, al-Samt wa Adab al-Lisan]
This type of joking is based on mockery, lies, excessive exaggeration, laughter, and ridicule. Bahz Ibn Hakim said, “My father told me that his father said he heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) say, ‘Woe to the one who tells lies to make people laugh, woe to him, woe to him.’” [Abu Dawud; Tirmidhi]
So much anger is stirred by joking, igniting the flames of wars, taking lives, bringing disgrace upon the innocent, and affecting the reputation of the pious.
6. Obscenity and Foul Language
Among its causes are obscenity and foul language. Obscenity involves cursing, insulting, demeaning, mocking, or slandering, which agitates hearts and kindles the flames of anger. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The heaviest thing to be placed in the balance of a believer on the Day of Judgment is a good character, and indeed, Allah hates the obscene and vulgar person.” [Ibn Hibban]
7. Praising Anger with Laudable Names
Among its causes is praising anger with laudable names. Imam Ghazali (Allah have mercy on him) said,
“Among the strongest triggers of anger for most ignorant people is naming their anger as bravery, manhood, dignity, and high ambition, and labeling it with commendable titles out of foolishness and ignorance, making the soul incline towards it and deem it good. This may be intensified by narrating and imitating the intensity of anger from the elders in the context of praising bravery. Souls are inclined to imitate the elders; hence anger is incited in the heart because of it, and naming this as dignity and bravery out of ignorance. Indeed, it is a disease of the heart, deficiency in intellect, weakness of self, and its diminishment. A sign of this is that the sick person is quicker to anger than the healthy, a woman quicker to anger than a man, a child quicker to anger than an adult man, the weak old man quicker to anger than the mature man, and the person of bad character and ugly vices quicker to anger than the person of virtues.”
8. Poverty
Poverty is a severe worry sufficient by itself to cause a person a kind of panic and internal upheaval that dominates him with heavy anxiety and constant concern about his condition and those he supports. The Sunna has clarified the impact of poverty on a person’s life and the arousal of anger among the poor and needy; therefore, the Prophet used to seek refuge from it. ‘Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to say,
“اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ فِتْنَةِ النَّارِ وَعَذَابِ النَّارِ، وَفِتْنَةِ القَبْرِ وَعَذَابِ القَبْرِ، وَشَرِّ فِتْنَةِ الغِنَى وَشَرِّ فِتْنَةِ الفَقْرِ”
“O Allah, I seek refuge with You from the trials of the Fire and the torment of the Fire, and from the trials and torment of the grave, and from the evil of the trials of wealth and the evil of the trials of poverty.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
And from Abu Hurayra, from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), who said,
“Seek refuge with Allah from poverty, scarcity, humiliation, and that you wrong or be wronged.” [Nasa’i; Ahmad]
The causes of anger are many, and there is no escape from anger as long as they persist.
Ways to Calm Anger
Anger is a whisper from Satan, which leads to calamities, disasters, and woes known only to Allah. Therefore, the Prophetic tradition has emphasized treating all forms of anger to either eradicate this affliction or, at the very least, minimize its severe effects. Among these methods are:
1. Embracing Patience
Among the virtues of a Muslim’s character is embracing patience, and bearing harm for the sake of Allah (Most High). Those not naturally endowed with the praiseworthy trait of patience should train themselves, especially when faced with provocations to anger, repeatedly and psychologically prepare for various trials, familiarizing themselves with this practice with reliance on Allah (Most High). They should learn about the outcomes of patience in this life and the hereafter and study the Prophetic biography and the lives of the Companions and their immense patience. Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported:
“Some people from the Ansar asked the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), and he gave them; then they asked him again, and he gave them until all that he had was exhausted. Then he said: ‘Whatever wealth I have, I will not withhold from you. Whoever would be chaste and modest; Allah will keep him chaste and modest, and whoever would seek sufficiency, Allah will make him sufficient. And whoever would be patient, Allah will give him patience, and no one is granted a gift better and more comprehensive than patience.’” [Bukhari]
2. Changing One’s Posture from Standing to Sitting
Sit down if you are standing, and If it does not help, then go from sitting to lying down. Abu Dharr reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to us,
“If one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him (well and good); otherwise, he should lie down.” [Abu Dawud; Ahmad; Ibn Hibban]
Khattabi commented: “The standing person is prepared for action and aggression, less so the sitting person and the lying person is prevented from both, so it seems the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) commanded to sit and lie down so that nothing regrettable springs from him in his state of standing or sitting.” [Ibn al-Athir, Jami‘ al-Usul]
This also includes the blessing of following the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and adhering to his command.
3. Remaining Silent
One of the greatest treatments for anger is to restrain the tongue because an angry person might say things in his anger he would regret once it subsides. If he remains silent, all that evil is averted. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“If one of you becomes angry, he should be silent.” [Bukhari, al-Adab al-Mufrad; Ahmad; Sahih al-Jami‘]
4. Seeking Refuge in Allah from Satan the Accursed:
This means seeking refuge and protection in Allah from Satan. Narrated by Sulayman Ibn Surad, he said: “I was sitting with the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and two men were swearing at one another. One of them was red in the face, and his veins were swollen. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said, “I seek refuge in Allah from Satan,” what he feels (his anger) would go away.’ They told the angry man, ‘The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) tells you to seek refuge in Allah from Satan,’ and the angry man said, ‘Am I mad?’” [Bukhari]
Understanding and applying these strategies can significantly mitigate the effects of anger, promoting a peaceful and harmonious life.
5. Ablution (Wudu)
Those afflicted with anger should know that if it dominates them, it becomes like a raging fire within their chest, causing their breaths to boil like a cauldron, sealing off the mind’s faculties, and rendering them unable to control their actions and words. Therefore, one of the Prophet’s (Allah bless him and give him peace) directives was to extinguish this fire with ablution. Abu Wa’il said: We entered upon Urwa Ibn Muhammad al-Sa‘di. A man spoke to him and angered him. So, he stood up, performed ablution, then returned having performed ablution, and said: “My father told me, from my grandfather Atiyya, who said: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: ‘Indeed, anger comes from Satan, and Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water. So, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.’” [Abu Dawud; Ahmad]
6. Emulating the Guidance of Our Master Muhammad in Handling Anger
The guidance of the noble Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) when he felt angry was to pardon and forgive, as he is our best example and role model. Anas Ibn Malik reported: “I was walking with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) wearing a thick Najrani cloak when a Bedouin came and pulled his cloak so violently that I saw the side of the shoulder of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) being affected by the cloak’s edge due to that violent pull. Then the Bedouin said: ‘O Muhammad! Order for me some of Allah’s wealth which you have!’ The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) turned to him and then smiled, and ordered that he be given something.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
7. Recollection upon Reminder
Among the characteristics of the believers is to suppress anger for the sake of Allah and seeking His pleasure. This includes what Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrated: Uyayna Ibn Hisn came and stayed with his nephew Hurr Ibn Qays, who was among those whom ‘Umar would allow to sit close to him, as he was among the reciters who were the people of Umar’s council and consultation, whether they were old or young. Uyayna said to his nephew,
“O my nephew! Do you have any standing with this ruler? Seek permission for me to see him.” Hurr sought permission for Uyayna with Umar. When ‘Uyayna entered upon him, he said: “O Ibn Khattab, by Allah, you neither give us sufficient provision nor judge among us with justice.” Umar became so angry that he was about to punish him, but Hurr said: “O Commander of the Faithful, Allah, the Exalted, says to His Prophet, ‘Take to forgiveness and command what is right and turn away from the ignorant.’ [Quran, 7:199], and this man is from the ignorant.” “By Allah, ‘Umar did not go beyond that when he recited it to him, and he was a man who adhered strictly to the Book of Allah.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
It is also mentioned that a servant girl of Ali Ibn Husayn was pouring water for him to perform ablution for prayer. The pitcher slipped from her hand, fell on his face, and injured him. He raised his head towards her, and she said, “Allah says, ‘And those who restrain anger.’” he said, “I have restrained my anger.” She said, “(Allah says) ‘and pardon people,’” and he replied, “I have pardoned you.” She said, “(Allah says) ‘And Allah loves the doers of good.’” He said, “Go, you are free.” [Bayhaqi, Shu‘ab al-Iman]
These methods offer practical steps for believers to manage and mitigate anger, aligning their responses with the teachings of Islam and the example of the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace).
8. Striving against the Self
Anyone who hopes for Allah and the Last Day, when angered, should adorn themselves with noble traits such as forbearance, suppressing anger, forgiveness, generosity, benevolence, modesty, patience, endurance, refraining from harm, cheerful disposition, and the like. When the self is adorned with such characteristics and becomes habitual, it naturally repels anger when provoked.
9. Supplication
The most effective weapon a believer wields in all situations is to turn to his Lord in supplication, seeking deliverance from evils, calamities, and bad manners, and protection from falling into disbelief or injustice due to anger. Among his supplications, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) prayed:
”اللهُمَّ بِعِلْمِكَ الْغَيْبَ وَقُدْرَتِكَ عَلَى الْخَلْقِ أَحْيِنِي مَا عَلِمْتَ الْحَيَاةَ خَيْرًا لِي، وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا عَلِمْتَ الْوَفَاةَ خَيْرًا لِي، وَأَسْأَلُكَ خَشْيَتِكَ فِي الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ، وَكَلِمَةَ الْإِخْلَاصِ فِي الرِّضَا وَالْغَضَبِ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ نَعِيمًا لَا يَنْفَدُ وَقُرَّةَ عَيْنٍ لَا تَنْقَطِعُ وَأَسْأَلُكَ الرِّضَا بِالْقَضَاءِ، وَبَرَدَ الْعَيْشِ بَعْدَ الْمَوْتِ، وَلَذَّةَ النَّظَرِ إِلَى وَجْهِكَ، وَالشَّوْقَ إِلَى لِقَائِكَ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ ضَرَّاءٍ مُضِرَّةٍ، وَفِتْنَةٍ مُضِلَّةٍ، اللهُمَّ زَيِّنَّا بِزِينَةِ الْإِيمَانِ وَاجْعَلْنَا هُدَاةً مُهْتَدِينَ.“
“O Allah, by Your knowledge of the unseen and Your power over creation, give me life as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. I ask You to fear You in private and public, to speak the word of truth in both anger and satisfaction. I ask You for unending bliss, the delight of looking at Your face, and the longing to meet You without harmful adversity or misleading trials. O Allah, adorn us with the ornament of faith and make us guides who are rightly guided.” [Nasa’i]
Anas ibn Malik reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Three are destructive: stinginess that is obeyed, a desire that is followed, and a person’s self-praise out of pride. And three are saving: justice in satisfaction and anger, moderation in wealth and poverty, and fear of Allah in private and public.” [Tabarani, al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat; Suhayb Abd al-Jabbar, al-Jami‘ al-Sahih]
The Impact of Anger
Anger negatively impacts outwardly and inwardly, words and actions, on the mind and health of the angry person, and finally, the individual and the community.
1. The Impact of Anger on Appearance
If an angry person could see their reflection during their fury, they would detest themselves and their appearance. If they saw their color change, the severity of their trembling, their limbs shaking, their features distorted, their complexion overturned, their face reddened, their eyes bulging, their veins swollen, their lips quivering, their mustache trembling, their speech and words jumbled, their actions and movements disorderly, grinding their teeth, the foam on their lips, their eyes reddened, their voice raised, behaving like a madman, they would be disgusted by themselves and flee in horror. This realization might cool their anger and melt away in shame and embarrassment.
2. The Impact of Anger on the Inner Self
The ugliness within is more severe than the outward appearance; the external change is merely the result of an internal shift. Anger breeds grudges against the object of anger, envy rejoicing in their misfortunes and grieving their successes, harboring intentions of harm, gloating over their miseries, revealing their secrets, disrespecting their privacy, mocking and ridiculing them, among other reprehensible actions that seem endless.
3. The Impact of Anger on Speech
Anger leads to many prohibited utterances, such as slandering chaste women, cursing parents, vulgar speech, and other behaviors repugnant to sound minds and upright morals. It might lead to swearing oaths or vows that are impermissible to fulfill religiously, blasphemy against the religion, and could even result in apostasy. It may lead to false accusations against the righteous, irrevocable divorce or estrangement from one’s spouse, or cursing oneself and loved ones, leading to regret and remorse.
4. The Impact of Anger on Actions
Anger leads to many criminal actions, like breaking windows, destroying household appliances, tearing clothes, hitting oneself, pulling hair, biting hands, causing bruises and deep wounds, and assaulting one’s spouse, children, relatives, and others like a rabid dog. It may lead to breaking bones, setting one’s house or car on fire, and even harming animals and inanimate objects. It may cause one to collapse, powerless to move due to the overwhelming control of anger. It can escalate to killing others who are innocent or ending one’s own life by jumping from a height, shooting oneself in the head, setting oneself on fire, and ultimately leading to hell, a wretched destination.
Ibn Miskawayh says:
“Such behavior results from a terrible character trait – anger, which leads to unjust acts against oneself, then one’s kin, escalating to the mistreatment of servants and family, acting as a whip of punishment, unforgiving of mistakes, merciless even if they are innocent of any wrongdoing. They are provoked by the slightest cause to extend their verbal and physical abuse, while the victims cannot defend themselves or dare to repel him but submit and confess to faults they haven’t committed to appease his wrath, and he continues unabated in his ways. Sometimes, their unreasonable behavior extends beyond people to animals that cannot reason, to utensils that cannot feel; indeed, those afflicted with such vile temperament might bite into a lock if it resists them, or smash crockery. This type of poor character is well-known among many ignorant people, manifested in their treatment of clothing, glass, iron, and other tools.” [Ibn Miskawayh, Tahdhib al-Akhlaq]
5. The Impact of Anger on the Mind
Anger can significantly weaken or even completely blind the mind, making an individual act irrationally. The person will not accept advice from a well-wisher nor heed the counsel of the wise. Instead, advice only serves to fuel their rage and fan the flames of their anger due to the darkness that has overtaken their intellect and vision, leading to devastation. Under the sway of their anger, individuals may act solely on their devil’s commands. It’s reported that Satan said, “When a son of Adam becomes impervious to me, he becomes completely susceptible when angry; for he follows me blindly, doing exactly what I desire.” [Raghib al-Isfahani, Dhurriya ila Makarim al-Shari‘a]
Extreme anger can cause the heart to stop, leading to death from rage and grief, providing relief to people, lands, and all living beings, including inanimate objects and plants, all of which will praise Allah for the demise of such an individual, who departs this world unlamented.
Ibn Hibban al-Busti said, “Quick-temperedness is more devastating to the wise than fire to dry thorns; for those who succumb to anger lose their sense, uttering what their ego tempts them with, engaging in deeds that disgrace and ruin them.” [Busti, Rawdat al-‘Uqala’ wa Nuzhat al-Fudala’]
6. The Impact of Anger on Health
Physicians say that anger can cause terrifying physical harm like blood clotting, high blood pressure, increased heart rate, and rapid breathing, potentially leading to a fatal stroke, diabetes, and other diseases.
7. The Impact of Anger on the Individual and Society
Anger poses a danger both to individuals and to society because its effects are painful, and its consequences are grave. It can tear families apart, destroy homes, sever ties of kinship, disrespect parents, lead to divorce, displace children, ignite conflicts, provoke fights, shed blood, and take lives.
What Has Been Said About Anger!?
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (Allah be pleased with him) said, “True patience is shown at the moment of anger.”
And in the advice of ‘Umar to Abu Musa al-Ash‘ari (Allah be pleased with them): “Do not judge between two people when you are angry.” [‘Abd al-Razzaq, Musannaf]
Imam Shafi‘i said:
يُخَاطِبُنِي السَّفِيهُ بِكُلِّ قُبْحٍ
فَأَكْــرَهُ أَنْ أكُــونَ لَهُ مُجِيبَا
يَزيدُ سَـفَاهَةً فَأَزِيـــدُ حِلْمًا
كَعُــودٍ زَادَهُ الإحْـَـراقُ طِيبَا
“The fool addresses me with all ugliness,
I hate to respond to him.
He increases in foolishness, and I increase in forbearance,
Like the incense that burns, its fragrance only becomes stronger.”
Dear reader, strive as much as possible to control yourself when provoked or angered. Be patient and forbearing, for Satan seizes these moments to lead the son of Adam into what angers Allah and detracts from his religion and character.
And blessings and peace be upon our Master Muhammad, his Family, and his Companions.
[Shaykh] Ahmad al-Ahmad
Shaykh Ahmad Hammadin al-Ahmad, born in Idlib, Syria, in 1954, is a distinguished scholar. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Arabic Language from Al-Azhar University in Cairo, a Diploma in Educational Qualification, and a Diploma in Arabic Language from Damascus University. He also earned a Master’s in Islamic Studies, specializing in Aqida, from the Islamic University of Beirut.
Shaykh Ahmed graduated from the Al-Fath Islamic Institute in Damascus and served as a teacher there for 25 years. He has been a lecturer at the Al-Sham Higher Institute, a branch of the Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus, for 16 years, teaching Nahw, Balagha, and Aqida. He worked as a khatib in mosques in Damascus for thirty years and taught in Istanbul for eleven years. In Istanbul, he teaches various Islamic sciences, including the Quran, Hadith, Tafsir, Aqida, Fiqh, Nahw, and Balagha, at numerous Islamic institutes.
He received Ijazas in Islamic and Arabic sciences from his teachers: Shaykh Abdul Razzaq al-Halabi, Shaykh Muhammad Adib al-Kallas, the Gnostic Shaykh Mahmud al-Shaqfa, and Shaykh Ahmad al-Husari, along with many Ijazas in Hadith. Among his works is a book titled “al-Ba‘th wal-Nushur fi al-Quran al-Karim”
Shaykh Ahmad has served as the director of the Saad ibn Ubada al-Khazraji Institute for Islamic and Arabic Sciences in the Rural Damascus Governorate. He has been a Guidance and Counseling Committee member in the Directorate of Awqaf of Rural Damascus.
Currently, he is a member of the Fatwa Council in Istanbul. He has also participated in numerous academic conferences and TV and radio panels, including live Q&A sessions.
