What Are the Etiquettes of Eating and Drinking, and How Can I Teach My Children to Adhere to Them without Burdening Them?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yakti

Question

What are the etiquettes of eating and drinking, and how can I teach my children to adhere to them without burdening them?

Answer

Among the most important of these etiquettes and sunnas, as guided by our religion and the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace), include general cleanliness, especially washing hands before and after meals, mentioning Allah’s name, having a proper intention, sitting properly, respecting the blessing of food, eating and drinking with the right hand, eating from what is in front of you, avoiding excess and overeating, not eating over an existing meal, drinking water in sips, praising Allah for His blessings, preserving them, and not discarding leftovers, among other great etiquettes.

Explanation and Details:

Worshiping Allah through our Eating and Drinking Habits

One of the greatest features of this magnificent Sacred Law is its comprehensiveness in all aspects of life, including routine matters and natural needs. It has come to organize and regulate them with a balance of moderation and to distance them from mere instinctual behaviors resembling other creatures. It has set forth a mode of practice (sunna) and established etiquettes and rulings. Those who adhere to them transform these actions into acts of worship for which they are rewarded. As our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) informed us, “Actions are judged by intentions, and everyone will be rewarded according to their intention.” This is what distinguishes this Sacred Law from other religions, cultures, and civilizations.

Among these routine activities and natural needs are eating and drinking, for which the beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) prescribed a great number of etiquettes. He instructed us to educate our children in these practices. This can be done through affectionate interaction and step-by-step teaching of general etiquettes and sunna, observing their actions and behaviors in matters of eating and drinking, and guiding them towards what aligns with the sunna, as the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) did with children with whom he ate, as we will see in the hadiths mentioned later.

Here is a collection of the most important etiquettes and sunnas that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) invited us to follow in the matter of eating and drinking. I will list them with their evidence, and then I will provide a summary for their implementation, educating children in them, and practicing them, God willing.

Washing the Hands before and after Eating

• Salman al Farsi (Allah be pleased with him) narrates: “I read in the Torah that the blessing of food is to perform wudu (ablution) after it. I mentioned this to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and told him what I read in the Torah. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘The blessing of food is to perform wudu before and after it.’” [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud] The wudu referred to here is the washing of hands.

Sitting Upright while Eating

• Abu Juhayfa (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, “I was with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), and he said to a man with him, ‘I do not eat reclining.’ Or he said, ‘While I am reclining.’” [Bukhari] “Reclining” here means leaning on a pillow or almost lying down.
• Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) forbade drinking while standing.” The narrator asked Anas about eating, and he replied, “That is worse, or he said, “more vile.” [Muslim]

Saying “Bismillah,” Using the Right Hand, and Eating What is Close

• Umar ibn Abi Salama (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, “I was a young boy in the care of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), and my hand would wander around the dish. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to me, ‘O boy, mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.’ That became my eating habit thereafter.” (Bukhari, Muslim) In another narration by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood, “He entered upon the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) while there was food, and he said, ‘Come near, my son. Mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.’”
• Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with them) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “None of you should eat with his left hand nor drink with it, for Satan eats with his left hand and drinks with it.” [Muslim, Tirmidhi]

Eating in Moderation

• Miqdad ibn Ma’dikarib (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) say, ‘No human fills a vessel worse than the stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to have a few mouthfuls to keep his back straight. If it cannot be avoided, then a third for food, a third for drink, and a third for his breath.’” [Tirmidhi, Ibn Maja]

Completing One’s Dish

• Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, “When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) ate a meal, he licked his three fingers. He said, ‘If a morsel of yours falls, remove any harm from it and eat it, and do not leave it for Satan.’ He commanded us to wipe the dish and said, ‘You do not know in which part of your food the blessing is.’” [Muslim, Tirmidhi] In another narration, “The dish seeks forgiveness for the one who licks and cleans it, saying, ‘May Allah spare you from the Fire as you have spared me from Satan.’”

Slow and Deliberate Consumption

• Abdullah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do not drink in one gulp like the drinking of a camel but drink twice or thrice. Mention the name of Allah when you drink, and praise Him when you finish.” In another narration, Abdullah narrates, “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to breathe twice when he drank.” [Tirmidhi]

Praising Allah after Eating and Drinking

• Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is pleased with a servant who eats a meal and praises Him for it, and drinks a drink and praises Him for it.” [Muslim, Tirmidhi]

Summary of Habits

Here is the summary and general arrangement of the etiquettes of eating and drinking mentioned in the previous hadiths and others:

Firstly, before starting to eat and drink:

1. Washing hands and having the right intention.
2. Sitting in front of the food in a manner that shows respect and appreciation for the blessing without leaning.
3. Mentioning the name of Allah.

Secondly, while eating and drinking:

1. Eating with the right hand and using the three fingers as much as possible, and similarly drinking with the right hand.
2. Eating from what is nearest in the dish if people are eating from one dish.
3. Not harming or disturbing the people sitting at the table with any behavior or action.
4. Not eating multiple types of food in one meal.
5. Not eating a second meal before completely digesting the first.
6. Not overeating as it harms the body and affects alertness and intelligence. There should be enough space for drinking and comfortable breathing.
7. Cleaning any food that falls on the floor if it can be cleaned and then eating it.
8. Taking care of leftovers in the dish and wiping them with the finger because the blessing lies in them.
9. Drinking water in two or three sips and breathing outside the vessel, as it is more beneficial; the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “It is more quenching, healthier, and more satisfying.” (Bukhari)

Thirdly, after finishing the meal and drink:

1. Licking the fingers, then washing the hands and cleaning the utensils and place.
2. Praising Allah in any form, with the best being these phrases narrated from the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace): “al hamdu lillah alladhi at’amana wa saqana wa ja’alana min al muslimin” (Praise be to Allah, Who has fed us and given us drink and made us Muslims), and “al hamdu lillah alladhi at’amani hadha al ta’am warazaqanihi min ghayri hawlin minni wa la quwwa” (Praise be to Allah, Who has fed me this and provided it for me without any might or power on my part).
3. Not being wasteful with food and not throwing leftovers in the trash, but rather eating them at another time or giving them as charity to the poor.

Conclusion:

Firstly, I thank you, my brother, for this interest and care in fulfilling your responsibility towards your children. Secondly, we can educate our children on these etiquettes by setting a weekly program, where we present them with a hadith or sunna from the etiquettes of eating and drinking each week. We train them to apply it throughout the week, and so on, for each week with a hadith or sunna.

Once these etiquettes and sunnas are complete, we can summarize these etiquettes in a paper and place it prominently in the dining room so the children can remember them and always act on them.

And Allah ultimately knows best.

[Shaykh] Abdul Sami‘ al-Yakti

Shaykh Abdul Sami‘ al-Yaqti is a Syrian scholar born in Aleppo in 1977. He obtained his degree in Shari‘a from the Shari‘a Faculty of Damascus University, a Diploma in Educational Qualification from the Faculty of Education at Aleppo University, and a Diploma in Shari‘a and a Master’s in Shari‘a from the Faculty of Sharia, and Law at Omdurman University in Sudan. He is currently writing his doctoral thesis.

He studied under esteemed scholars such as Shaykh Abdul Rahman al-Shaghouri, Shaykh Mustafa al-Turkmani, and Shaykh Dr. Nur al-Din Itr, among others. Shaykh al-Yakti has worked in teaching and cultural guidance in orphanages and high schools in Aleppo. He served as an Imam, Khatib, and reciter at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi and as a certified trainer for Khatibs in Abu Dhabi’s Khatib Qualification Program.

He is involved in developing and teaching a youth education program at Seekers Arabic for Islamic Sciences.

Among Shaykh al-Yaqti’s significant works are “Imam al-Haramayn al-Juwayni: Bayna Ilm al-Kalam Wa Usul al-Fiqh” and the program “The Messenger of Allah Among Us (Allah bless him and give him peace).”