Should Islamic Rulings Be Imposed on One’s Non-practicing Daughters?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Should Islamic rulings be imposed on daughters? Are parents accountable for the sins of their offspring? How should they be invited to follow Islam?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your willingness to keep your children on the straight path, and may Allah facilitate it for you.
Impose Rulings
Forcing one’s children to obey Allah and His Messenger doesn’t usually work, as the children are likely to rebel. Rather one should be gentle, be encouraging, and try to surround their children with kind, religious, and positive people. The environment that the child is in will have a great hand in influencing the child’s choices. One should continuously pray for them as well.
Follow this hadith and make it your goal in how you deal with your children: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Majah]
Accountable for the Child’s Sin
‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar said that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
A parent is responsible for their child’s Islamic upbringing. If the parent has ensured that the child learned all that is obligatory for them to learn, along with the etiquette of the religion, and then the child goes astray and makes the wrong choices, the parent is not accountable for this.
Allah Most High said in the Quran, “(…) and no bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another.” [Quran, 6:164] Also, consider the sons of Prophet Nuh and Prophet Lut (Allah bless them and give them peace).
Please see these links on how to invite them to follow Islam:
- How Can I Change My Daughter’s Attitude and Convince Her To Start Praying Again?
- How to Counsel a Teenager with Religious Shortcomings?
- My Teenage Son Is Not a Good Muslim
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
