How Do I Make Peace with My Husband Changing My Daughter’s Name?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My husband and I named our daughter, but my sister and father-in-law didn’t like the name and changed it. I couldn’t bring myself to call my daughter by that name as I’ve been calling her by the name we chose since the 8th month of pregnancy. My husband sided with my in-laws and decided to keep the name they suggested. I felt helpless in this matter, and I stayed quiet as there was nothing I could do. I want to make peace with this situation, but every time someone calls her with that name, it breaks my heart. I want to make peace with it, but I can not. What do I do?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and confusion over this name change, but I encourage you to follow through with what your husband has chosen and support him in this matter. Start calling her by the name yourself, and it will get easier. It’s a mental block that you must overcome, and you will find much goodness that comes from it, by Allah’s grace.

Best Wife

When you disagree with your husband, try to remember that Allah Most High has told us in the Quran: “[…] If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of goodness.” [Quran 4:19].

The best wife was described in this hadith: It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best? He said, ‘The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, and she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, and she does not do anything about herself or his wealth in a manner of which he does not approve.’” [Musnad of Ahmad]

Please see more details here:

• Do I Have a Right to Name My Children as a Mother?
• Who Has the Right to Name the Newborn?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.