Have I Earned the Anger of Allah for Raising My Voice in Anger at My Mother?
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
I have anger issues, and I am trying to suppress it. Have I earned the anger of Allah Most High for raising my voice in anger at my mother?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
Controlling Anger
Anger is a natural quality of the human being. However, Islam requires us to control our anger and not to act on it in a manner that is against the guidance of the Sacred law.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The strong person is not the one who can throw down their opponent. The strong person is the one who can control themselves when angry.” [Malik, al-Muwatta; Ahmad]
Self-control at the time of anger is difficult but possible to achieve. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever holds back their anger whilst having the ability to act on it – Allah will call them before all the creation (on the Day of Judgment) till they are given to choose from whichever of the maidens of Paradise they wish…” [Ahmad; Ibn Majah; Tabarani]
Good Treatment of Parents
It is obligatory to treat one’s parents with the utmost respect and manners. This is especially true for the mother.
Allah Most High says, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (so much as), ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up (when I was) small.’” [Quran, 17:23-24]
How to Repent From Ill-Treatment of Parents
Due to the above verse, raising one’s voice in anger to one’s parents is a major sin and necessary to repent from. [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]
Conditions of a Sound Repentance
However, for the repentance to be sincere and sound, one must fulfill the following conditions:
- Sincere remorse for the sin;
- Immediately leaving the sin;
- Firm resolve never to repeat the sin;
- Since the above sin affected the rights of another, an additional condition must be met: Forgiveness must be sought from the one wronged (in this case, your mother). [Nawawi, Riyadh al-Salihin]
All Sound Repentance is Accepted
If the above conditions are met, and your mother forgives you, then know there remains no doubt of its acceptance, just as no thirst remains after drinking water. [Ghazzali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The one who repents (sincerely) from a sin is like one with no sin.” [Ibn Majah; Tabarani, al-M’ujam al-Kabir; Bayhaqi, Shu‘ab al-Iman]
Having A Good Opinion of Allah Most High
With all that said, know that if you are sincere, Allah Most High intends to forgive you and accept your repentance.
Allah Most High says, “And Allah intends to accept your repentance…” [Quran, 4:27]
And know that Allah Most High has prohibited His slaves from losing hope in His mercy.
He says, “O My slaves who have wronged themselves! Do despair of the mercy of Allah. Verily, Allah forgives all sins. Verily He is the All-Forgiving and Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
Please see this also: Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch teaches Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom Seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences.
He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he studied for three years in Dar al-Mustafa under some of the most outstanding scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib.
In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Quran and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.
