Is Giving Charity Permissible If My Wife Disapproves?
Answered by Shaykh Muhammad Fayez Awad
Question
Is it permissible for me to give a lot of charity if my wife gets angry about it?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon His noble messenger, his family, and all his companions.
It is the right of a woman upon her husband that he spends on her and on their children in a reasonable manner. Narrated by Sulayman bin ‘Amr bin Ahwas:
“My father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage with the Messenger of Allah. He praised and glorified Allah, and reminded and exhorted (the people). Then he said: ‘I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise unless they commit clear indecency. If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark. If they obey you, then do not seek means of annoyance against them. You have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding (furniture), nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses. And their right over you is that you should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food.’” [Nasa’i; Abu Dawud; Tirmidhi]
If the husband is miserly and does not spend on his wife in a reasonable manner, then the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) permitted the wife to take from his wealth without his knowledge what is sufficient for her and her children in a reasonable manner. ‘A’isha reported: Hind bint ‘Utba said,
“O Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace)! Abu Sufyan is a miser, and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children. Can I take of his property without his knowledge?” The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, and the amount should be just and reasonable.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
However, it is not permissible for a woman to prevent her husband from giving charity or to become angry with him for doing so because he is giving from his own free will. Rather, it is her duty to assist him in doing good deeds and acts of kindness, thus earning a share in the reward and blessings. It is not appropriate for her to blame him for doing good and performing acts of charity. Allah (Most High) says:
“Cooperate with one another in goodness and righteousness.” [Quran, 5:2]
And He (Most High) says:
“Whoever intercedes for a good cause will have a share in the reward.” [Quran, 4:85]
A righteous wife is one who supports her husband in doing good deeds, encouraging him and not discouraging him. Thus, she earns both the reward and the pleasure of Allah.
By assisting her husband in his charitable donations to the poor and needy, she gains two benefits: Firstly, she is rewarded for her actions because serving a fellow Muslim is a form of charity. Secondly, by doing so, she earns the satisfaction of her husband for assisting him in doing good deeds, and thereby, she also obeys Allah. pleasee xtract tags from this text
[Shaykh] Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad.
Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad, born in Damascus, Syria, in 1965, pursued his Islamic studies in the mosques and institutes of Damascus. A graduate of the Islamic University of Medina in 1985, he holds a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies from Bahauddin Zakariya University in Pakistan.
He has extensive experience developing curricula and enhancing the teaching of various academic courses, including conducting intensive courses. Shaykh Awad has taught Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Quranic sciences, the history of legislation, inheritance laws, and more at several institutes and universities such as Al-Furqan Institute for Islamic Sciences and Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus.
He is a lecturer at the Sultan Muhammad al-Fatih Waqf University in Istanbul, teaching various Arabic and Islamic subjects, and teaches at numerous Islamic institutes in Istanbul. Shaykh Awad is a member of the Association of Syrian Scholars, a founding member of the Zayd bin Thabit Foundation, a member of the Syrian Scholars Association, and a member of the Academic Council at the Iman Center for Teaching the Sunna and Quran.
Among his teachers from whom he received Ijazat are his father, Shaykh Muhammad Muhiyiddin Awad, Shaykh Muhiyiddin al-Kurdi, Shaykh Muhammad Karim Rajih, Shaykh Usama al-Rifai, Shaykh Ayman Suwaid, Shaykh Ahmad al-Qalash, Shaykh Muhammad Awwama, and Shaykh Mamduh Junayd.
