My brother is addicted to drugs and violent
Question: Our family is desperate. My brother is suffering from serious drug addiction for a few years now. My parents have tried every possible way to get him treatment, but unfortunately, he rejects it. He is extremely violent (physically and verbally) and unstable. He lives with my mother and ill father, and they deal with constant harassment and torment from him for money or else he steals or damages property. My parents feared his violence and had a protection order from him once. Drug use has affected his mental state, and he’s lost track of right and wrong. We have prayed and tried endlessly to help him. We have been shut out from our entire family and community as no one wants to get involved. We don’t know what to do anymore. My brother is oblivious to everything and doesn’t think rationally, though deep down, I believe he has a good side. We do not see an end to this vicious cycle.
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain and frustration, and I pray that your situation improves. Your brother is very ill with his addiction, and he needs intervention and help.
I did a quick search and found these resources for drug addicts in France:
https://www.northcarolinahealthnews.org/2019/02/11/to-tackle-addiction-the-french-look-beyond-drugs-to-care-for-the-person/
Consider sending him abroad for treatment if you are able:
https://tabularasaretreat.com/addiction-treatment-france/
The best advice that I can give you is in these articles; please see them all:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/can-help-brother-addicted-drugs/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/brother-started-hard-drugs/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/how-can-i-deal-with-living-with-my-brothers-drug-problem/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/tag/drugs/
Self-care
Do take care of yourself and your parents while you are dealing with your brother. It would be best if you were mentally clear, stable, and grounded to help anyone.
Professional help
I recommend that you first go to a treatment center and get advice on how to proceed. They are professionals, and they will know how to help you deal with your brother. They can give you practical steps to take.
Keep praying
Keep praying, and don’t give up. I am certain that your brother will come out of this and turn his life around. Try these du`as:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/articles/general-artices/selected-prophetic-prayers-for-spiritual-physical-and-emotional-wellbeing-by-chaplain-ibrahim-long/
Protect yourselves
Always love him, be encouraging, but protect yourself as well. If things get worse, you may have no choice but to have him live on his own. You can visit him, but you all do deserve to live in peace. Also, remember that it is good in every affair for the believer. Consider this prophetic hadith:
“Wondrous are the ways of a believer for it is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delighted, he is thankful; thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.“ [Muslim]
Allah’s help will come.
The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” [Tirmidhi]
May Allah bless you and give you and your family the very best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
