What Can I Do To Have My Mom Pray 5 Times a Day?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I want my mom to pray, she started to pray, but she is lazy, doesn’t pray regularly, and watches TV. It makes me angry when I tell her about prayer, and I explain to her about the torment of the grave. I tell her that she will be asked about her prayers and that I don’t want her to suffer there, so it is my duty to remind her. She says to stop reminding her as she knows and she prays. But she is not consistent. Can I force her to pray? When she doesn’t pray, I get angry.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration, as no one wants to see their mother be short in her obligations, but I urge you to choose the way of mercy and not anger.
Gentleness
Allah Most High has told us: “Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching, and reason with them in ways that are best…” [Quran, 16:125]
Being gentle and wise with your mother will go a long way in convincing her to pray. I ask that you do not get angry with her and that you get creative instead. Ask her to pray with you, introduce her to friends that pray regularly, and forward her videos about the importance of prayer. Perhaps take her out with you and get coffee or dessert, and then stop at a mosque to pray. There are many ways to encourage, not threaten, one to pray, through action and not just words.
Remember, the goal is to make her want to pray, not force her to, or she may end up rebelling against it. Follow this hadith in how you deal with her: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Majah]
Burden
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another. And if a sin-burdened soul cries for help with its burden, none of it will be carried—even by a close relative. You (O Prophet) can only warn those who stand in awe of their Lord without seeing Him and establish prayer. Whoever purifies themselves, they only do so for their own good. And to Allah is the final return.” [Quran, 35:18]
The above tells us that you are not responsible for her prayers. She may not be forced, and Allah will not ask you whether she prayed on time. He will ask her. Instead, inspire her and help her to love the prayer through the love of Allah and His Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace). The easiest path to gain this love is learning about the Prophet’s life (Allah bless him and give him peace) and understanding the sacrifice he went through for us.
Say this dua for your mother: Supplication of Excellence to Parents – Dua Birr al-Walidayn
Please see these links as well:
- Am I Accountable if My Family Doesn’t Practice Islam?
- My Husband Doesn’t Pray: How Do I Advise Him?
- How Can I Get My Parents to Pray Since I Am Just a Child?
- I Struggle with My Prayers and Am so Worried About My Family Members Who Do Not Pray. What Do I Do?
- Are People Killed For Their Non-Observance Of The Prayer?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
