How to Take Care of My Divorced Parents?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My parents got divorced six years ago. I am (24 years old) renting a house close to my work, and my mother (56 years old) lives with me. My dad (61 years old) lives in his house by himself, which is two hours away. I visit my dad once or twice every week. My dad’s health has been deteriorating because of age, and he became depressed out of loneliness.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain at watching your father’s situation, and I pray that you find a sustainable solution to help him
Parents
Allah Most High said in the Quran, “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them (even) ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.” [Quran, 17:23]
You are doing a fantastic job at taking care of both parents, and I commend you for your hard work and driving the long hours, ma sha’ Allah.
Tips
The best way to cure loneliness is to introduce people into his life or have him move closer to you. Are you married? Can you get married? It is much easier to take care of parents when there is a group of people to do it. You and your spouse could work together to take turns visiting him.
I encourage you to invite him to your home, also. Your mother could do something else that day or stay in a different part of the house. Encourage him to pray in the mosque as much as he can. Find him friends who can come over and see him. Have him take walks or go to a gym. Encourage him to befriend the Quran to help fill the void in his heart.
Call him daily; sometimes, that is even better than visiting. When the time is right, encourage him to remarry; there is no reason for anyone to grow old alone.
Please see these links as well:
- Goodness to Parents – A Reader
- How Do I Manage My Reserved Personality, Loneliness, and Negative Thoughts?
- Loneliness- Shaykh Sadullah Khan
May Allah send you a child that will also care for you, and may Allah give you the best.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
