How Do I Get Over a Man Who is With Someone Else?
Question: I have no strength left in me. There is a guy at work that I am in love with. He is with someone else and it is getting so hard for me trying to get over him. I make dua for him like a woman would for a man’s well-being. I feel so stupid for continuing to do so. I want to get over him. What should I do?
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. Unrequited love is very difficult to endure but certainly better than being in an illegitimate relationship with someone. I feel that Allah has saved you from this sin by putting him with someone else. Trust me. You will get over this, trust in Allah’s mercy, and take it one day at a time.
Resources
The best advice that I can give you is in these links, please read them all:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/how-to-get-over-unrequited-love/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/i-want-to-marry-someone-who-only-sees-me-as-a-friend-what-do-i-do/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/love-someone-not-love/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/any-advice-for-detaching-my-heart-from-someone/
Steps
Please distance yourself from him, channel your thoughts into du’a and dhikr, and ask Allah to change your state. Take up a new hobby, spend time with friends, exercise in the fresh air, and be consistent with your prayers and worship. Lower your gaze from him and do not let the Shaytan get into your head, dismiss all thoughts about him. Whenever you think of him, bless the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and eventually the thoughts and feelings will slow down and better with positive thoughts taking over. You must take this by the reins and conquer it.
May Allah give you the best in this world and the next and bless your union with the right man for you.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
