How Do I Deal With a Stingy Aunt Who Takes My Father’s Money?

Question:

My aunt lives in her own apartment below ours. She has two sons and a husband who earns sufficient money, but as far as I know, she does not even pay her own taxes. My father pays all the taxes on the house. I feel like my father is being taken advantage of, and I feel bad for him. She is very stingy. Even after my father helps her so much, she is very jealous of me and my siblings. How do we deal with this type of people?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. It can be very frustrating to see a beloved family member taken for granted. Remember that Allah sees all, and your father’s reward will be eternal, by His grace.

Giving Money

Generally speaking, elders discuss who will pay what and they come to an agreement on it. Have you asked your father if this was decided and agreed upon by both parties? Is your father upset about this or only you? If your father is upset, he should sit down with your aunt’s husband and have a mature discussion about splitting the bills. It is not really your place to bring it up with them. It is important to balance between giving and not being a doormat.

However, if your father has chosen to pay the taxes and wholeheartedly does it for the sake of Allah, he will be amply rewarded eternally for this by His Lord, and he is helping his own afterlife. This is nothing to feel remorse or regret about and I would say that his outlook on money is commendable, ma sha Allah.

Jealous Relatives

As for the problem of jealous relatives, one can do very little about it. You should read the last 3 surahs of the Qur’an before you sleep every night and not miss any prayers. Read some Qu’ran every day with the meaning and learn your personally obligatory knowledge. Take Allah as your protector and guardian, and trust in Him. Keep a minimal contact of politeness and greetings, and do not mention too much of your personal life to them. Be generous with them, be cheerful, and smile with them. Usually showing good character rectifies the other party’s character and people end up getting along, by His grace.

Du’a

Please consider this hadith and recite the supplications in the link regularly:
The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace,  said, “The best dinar that a man can spend is a dinar that he spends on his family, a dinar that he spends on a horse in the cause of Allah, and a dinar that a man spends on his companions in the cause of Allah.” [Ibn Majah]
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/articles/general-artices/selected-prophetic-prayers-for-spiritual-physical-and-emotional-wellbeing-by-chaplain-ibrahim-long/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.