Can I Confess My Past Sins to My Best Friend for My Mental Health?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have a very close friend who brings me closer to my deen. We have been friends for years, and we always have Islamic discussions and support and advise each other. I know we are meant to hide our sins in Islam, but is it allowed for me to confide in her about my sins? After talking to her, I feel less sad and closer to Allah. I will make sure to only tell my closest friend, and not publicize it to others. I also never talk in a boasting manner. It makes me feel a lot better and it is good for my mental health to have a true friend to talk to.

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for the desire to get closer to Allah and free yourself from your past sins.

Confession

The prohibition of revealing one’s sins is clear by this saying of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), “All my community will be excused except those who commit sins openly. Committing them openly includes a man who does something shameful at night and when morning comes, tells someone that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they removed Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Follow It Up with a Good Deed

It would not be permissible to tell your friend about your sin in this case. Instead, it would probably make you feel worse, but you don’t see that now. Confess your sins to Allah and ask Him for forgiveness. If you want advice about your sins, you could ask her about them in a general way without indication that you did them.

When you feel down about your sins, remember the words of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.” [Tirmidhi]

Please see these links as well:

• Are There Valid Reasons to Reveal Sins?
• Is It Permissible to Mention Sins When Speaking about Repentance?
• Reader on Exposing and Disclosing Past Sins
• How Can I Overcome My Guilt Over Past Sins?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.